Her Hair

He found a box of glass ornaments as he was cleaning out their closet.

There were four. 

The clear glass kind that you put something inside of.

On each ornament she wrote

“Choose your Attitude”

It’s what she said to her children each day as she dropped them off at school.

He gave them to her oldest daughter, my granddaughter.

She called to tell me she had something special to give me from mommy.

One for me.

One for her brother.

One for her sister,

and one for her.

She gently and reverently handed one to me

I studied the delicate glass ornament.

The words written by my daughters hand between the gold and silver lines

that encircled it.

I ran my right thumb across each letter

as questions raced through my mind.

Then I noticed it.

“What’s inside?” I said aloud.

Our eyes filled with tears as we realized what we were seeing.

A thick lock of her bleached blond hair resided inside each of the four ornaments.

Each one measuring at least three inches in length and

as thick around as my little finger.

The questions returned.

When did she do this?

Is this her hair pre or post chemo?

Did she make these just in case?

Or did she know she was going to die?

These are the questions that I will never have answers to.

I am forced to live with the unknown.

To allow grief to walk by my side.